Neglect or Protect

This morning two dogs followed me from my apartment towards my office building. I walked them back home to where they live. I was worried about them. They crossed the street without looking both ways. It reminded me of my childhood. No one and everyone was responsible for keeping me safe from myself. Am I returning a favor of someone protecting me when I was young? Or am I being overprotective, not letting the dogs learn their lessons on their own? My eternal struggling question. What is enough? What is the balance?

There are some lovely opportunities emerging for me. Yesterday I went to a meeting with a colleague in my department and a student organizer from Korea University Broadcasting System (KUBS). The organizer would like us to put on a weekly radio show for the KNU student body. It would be broadcast over the loudspeaker system. My colleague, Phil, has tons of ideas about putting a show together. I have lots of ideas about doing pre & post listening activities through online materials that would include MP3 files of our shows. We have another meeting next week. Yesterday was very much a brainstorming meeting. There is not enough information about the reality of this project coming to fruition. Phil and I expressed our enthusiasm. Who knows what will happen next?

This morning, Phil had to cancel our debriefing meeting regarding my participation in the Thai TESOL Conference. Phil, in addition to being a colleague in my department, is also the International Affairs Committee Chair for KOTESOL. He needs to go to Jeonju to meet Allison for a planning meeting for the KOTESOL North Jeolla Spring Conference. I told him to let Allison know that I would be happy to create and maintain the North Jeolla Conference website for them. Their conference is March 19, not March 26.

Another opportunity emerged this morning in class. One of my students takes her daughter to the library everyday. I asked if the library offered programs for children, like Story Time or Dinosaurs. She said they didn't offer any programs like that. I shared with her and the class the work my hometown public library does in Michigan City. My student mentioned that the library wanted to offer programs like that. I asked her to introduce me to the appropriate person at the library as I could volunteer one afternoon a week during the month of February. She was most excited about this. After class she and I talked about me reading a story book to the children. She is a violin teacher and will plan some music for the lesson. We will add some coloring activities and song chants based on the story. We thought 30 minutes with 10 kids. I hope this happens.

These opportunities are important to me because they make English accessible to a wide audience in Korea in a fun way. This winter I have traveled to Malaysia, Indonesia and Thailand. I have listened to many lectures on EFL and chatted with colleagues from around the world. More and more, when I return home to Korea, I am angry and stressed regarding the education process my students are bound within and I question my role as a teacher in this, Korean, context.

I was unaware of this anger until this morning. Another student in my class mentioned that she spends every day, several hours a day, studying TOEIC. I receive this answer from so many of my students here in South Korea. TOEIC TOEIC TOEIC. An enormous amount of time, energy and money are spent studying for a particular TOEIC score. My students are being channeled into master test takers, not mastering English.

My anger emerged because this particular student who has just returned from a year in New Zealand, who speaks like a near-native speaker, is spending her time studying for a particular grade. She is a university student who is not allowed to see her friends during the week because her mother demands that she study. Her situation is not unusual.

My heart screamed to hear her tell her story. I am getting overwhelmed by my students and friends here in Korea. They are intelligent, hard-working, creative, curious, and kind. Every day I witness electrical engineers who speak English well, and perhaps speak Chinese also, focus their time, money and energy on tests like the TOEIC, simply so they can get a job interview. I gave a presentation last September for Gwangju International Center (GIC) on Korean Unemployment. Why there are not more social problems here demonstrates a lot about the integrity of the Korean spirit.

More and more I wonder about who I am and if I am following the right path. I love teaching. It is my calling. But should I stay in Korea? Am I not just part of the problem? Am I helping or hurting my students by my sheer presence here in Korea? Should I be a teacher or a politician? How do I best help them while being myself?

I really like this blogging thing. It documents my feelings and my projects. Things that are intricately woven into my life process and goal.

Thankful for dogs, opportunities and anger,
Maria